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Thursday, January 1, 2009

Order in Chaos ( Michael )

I'm lost. I long. I TOAST??? What in the world am I doing? This odd feeling has slowly taken over my senses. I find myself searching for something but I can't put my finger on it. I talk to my "God sent" wife, Christi, but I have no questions. I look into the eyes of passing humans only to find emptiness. Books, family, history, science? Nothing! Hmm. Internet, ok, calm, sand, a palm tree. Hmm, Sea of Cortez, ok enter. Aah photos, sea life, beaches, mmmmm. Sailing. Hmmm Toast? Ok click. Hmm read, read. I continue to read. Life, read, read, read adventure, sigh, read, read,read trials, read, read, read frustration, read, read, read. Mid-life crisis? BANG!!! Could this be it? I read this heroine's words and could not stop. Toast, hmm I like Toast. I ask my wife, "Honey, can we get a boat and sail off into to sunset?" "How big of a boat?" she asks. I say, "Well, oh say 25' ". "Kitchen and bath?" she asks with lowered eyes. "Ahh no", I reply "And why not?" she asks. "We can't afford fixtures," I reply. She says in a loving tone, "Not right now dear." "But Honey, Toast did it!" I exclaimed. "What is a toast? she asked. I pulled up Toast Floats on her lap top and she hopped around, laughed and got the gist of Toast. "Baby, we can't do that" she explained, "I know you were in the Navy, but we don't know enough about a sail boat to do that! Sorry." I was stunned, not because of the rejection of my 'off the wall' request. It was the tone in her voice. A tone that I've felt growing inside me for a long time. It was a tone of possibility! You see, I am on a dead run to 50 years of age, in July. Damn. My beautiful wife has just passed that milestone. Maybe she is feeling that emotional perculator too. "Honey, can we load up the motorhome and drive off into the sunset?" I ask. She answers, "That sounds so nice! Ok, lets go!" Once again my mind is blown, "Did she say yes?" I ask myself, "YES!!! YES she did!" Happy New Year, let the planning begin. I love Toast! I can now see Order in Chaos. I need a asprin. michaelhargis.com


  1. And it took me nearly 3 weeks to find this post! Heh. I'm so not on the ball any more. I recommend ibuprofin. Not quite so hard on the stomach. Epiphanies are hard enough on the stomach without adding aspirin to the mix.

  2. Just for the record - I read this post.